“To find love you must first find it in yourself. Then the whole universe will mirror it back. See how people smile at you? Feel their tenderness, affection, their respect. See how the whole world responds lovingly to you when you love yourself.” From Melody Beattie Journey into the Heart.
Love yourself – these are simple words but hard to put into action. You may be wondering, where do I even start?
How about starting at the beginning? According to Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, we know that life is essentially good because we can experience it’s goodness all around us. We see the beauty and goodness of the blue sky, the white frosted glistening snow, the sound of birds in the woods and so much more. We can also recognize the things that are good within ourselves.
This concept is known as “looking for the good.” Unfortunately it’s an idea that’s been over- used and watered down. Maybe it feels fake or like a familiar T-shirt slogan. Please know that it doesn’t mean “everything’s good”. Things are definitely not always good. But by recognizing the beauty around us and within ourselves we know that there is always something good even in the midst of darkness.
Can you find goodness within yourself in this moment? Try it right now! Looking for the goodness within you is a powerful practice that has the potential to change your attitude toward yourself. If you do it regularly you’ll feel better about yourself and your situation in life. Your circumstances may not change, but you’ll experience more peace and contentment.
This is where the magic of mirroring comes in. When you are experiencing more peace, contentment and joy within, it will be reflected back to you by everyone around you.
Looking for the good also gets us out of the mindset that we have to fix ourselves. We’re all “perfectly imperfect”. Perfectly imperfect means that along with the bad there is good. Many of us have some experience with this already. Think of someone you love. Odds are that you love that person despite their faults, hang ups and insecurities. If you are in a relationship, maybe you even chose to spend your entire life with that perfectly imperfect person. Why not accept your own imperfections and love yourself anyway, too? And see how the world sends that love right back at you!